How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World by Jordan Christy

Author:Jordan Christy [CHRISTY, JORDAN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REF011000
ISBN: 9781599952178
Publisher: Center Street
Published: 2009-08-13T04:00:00+00:00

So maybe you’re already set in the great-friend department. But if you’re anything like me, you always seem to be stuck with a few in your life that you just don’t really enjoy. Maybe it’s that cousin who called you fat in fifth grade. It could be the girl on the second floor who constantly talks about herself. Or maybe it’s that skinny tramp who stole your boyfriend! Either way, you may be forced to salvage some of those (mostly the ones we have to see every day at work), but I’ve come to the conclusion that some relationships just aren’t worth saving. Life is too short to hang around cranky, mean, obnoxious people we don’t even really like!

I’ll let you in on a secret: I am an innate people pleaser. Consequently, I rarely turn down a request for coffee or lunch… or anything, for that matter. One day I realized I was spending thirty-six dollars every week to have burned coffee and small talk with people I didn’t even enjoy. Blegh! I generally attempt to be cordial and agreeable, but after months and years of this, it finally dawned on me that I kept going out with these people because I felt guilty, not because I was enjoying it. I started politely declining invitations that didn’t involve those that I truly loved and wanted to spend time with, and I realized that I had never felt freer! All of a sudden I was left with spare time to do the things I really wanted to do and found myself wondering why I hadn’t cut some people out earlier!

If there’s a certain someone you feel not-so-great about spending time with, don’t beat yourself up about turning down a social invitation every once in a while. It’s your life, which means you get to choose your friends. We’re all adults here, and if we’re finding ourselves investing in acquaintances who aren’t contributing to our overall happiness, we shouldn’t be afraid to politely excuse ourselves from the relationship. This obviously doesn’t have to be a ruthless or cruel process: simply let them know you’re busy trying to keep up with the demands of life and need more time than ever to focus on your real priorities. (Ahem, not them. But they don’t need to know that.)

Extreme cases of crazy befriending of people are rare, but they do indeed happen. I myself have encountered it only once, and the whole experience practically drove me to drink. Several years ago, a new girl started at work and immediately asked me for my cell number about an hour after she clocked in. I thought that was a little enthusiastic but naively assumed she was just attempting to get to know everyone. She called my cell phone at 6:45 the next morning, asking if I wanted to go get breakfast with her. I knew right then and there that I was not dealing with the average eager beaver.

I politely declined any more early-morning invites and informed her that I, as crazy as it sounded, actually ate breakfast with my husband every morning at home.

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